5 Emotions – My Baby’s Starting School

This September my youngest of my 5 children starts Big School. So I thought I would share the 5 emotions I have been feeling lately about her starting in reception.

When she was born, I remember saying that 2017 would be a big year. My eldest has just taken her GCSEs, awaiting results and will be off to college. My second daughter is off to secondary school and then A starts primary school to join her 2 siblings.  So even though it is the start of something new for her it is the end of a long stage (16 years) of having at least one pre-schooler. I have felt every single emotion possible recently. 

1. Sadness – Having 5 children it would be very obvious for anyone to guess that I love babies so much. The warm and fuzzy feeling when you bring a brand new baby home from hospital can’t be beaten. Knowing that a newborn is totally dependent on you for feeds, nappy changes and being rocked to sleep. When I decided to have A it was to bring light after the sadness of my Daddy’s (the kids Grandpa’s) death. But as time went on the sadness of him never meeting her was tough and days like her first day of school that he isn’t there for are difficult too. She has grown so fast and the last 4 years have seemed to go quicker than with her older siblings, so I get sad that I have blinked and missed it. Now she will be finding her own path without me to oversee what’s going on.
2. Excitement – Once all my kids have started school they have changed from the word go, so I am very excited to see her flourish. And find her feet on her own at school, see the new friendships she builds.
3. Regret – I didn’t spend enough time with her in the last 4 years. Having been the only one financially providing for the kids for the last 5 years, I have had no other option than to work. I had a little bit of cover for the first few months of A’s life. But being my own boss running my business, I was never able to turn off to what’s going on. So I have been guilty of feeding her whilst replying to emails. Plonking her in front of cbeebies whilst I market my next event. Not noting down when she got to milestones, as I was so busy dividing myself in 5 or 7 if you include the house and work!!!
4. Proud – I am so proud that A is ready for school and become a confident little girl. I have solo parented the kids for the majority of A’s little life so a little pat on the back that I have managed this far.
5. Happiness – As I am ready for a new chapter in my book too. I have been running my business around having a pre-schoolers at home for the last 7 years. So I will hopefully have more time to devote to building my business. As kids only get more expensive as they get older, so I need to fund them. Plus as selfish as it seems I am looking forward to having some time to myself. You might even find me at the gym, well when I have finished that chocolate bar!!!

Phew now that is off my chest, I feel kind of ready, but know that there will be some tears. Pop over to my Instagram account and prepare yourself for 1st Day at School Spam.